My very first entry into my Creative Therapy adventure has proof of fruition.
Catalyst # 25: Fear
could you just hold my hand
maybe just until this is over?????????
i fear this is forever…the medicine the weakness the possibility this will never END…
I hate when people stare and ask what’s wrong?
I’m afraid I have no clear answer. I fear the question.
I fear my lack of faith.
There's so much I want to say about this. But honestly. I have it all in my heart and right now it's there...praying this through. I do not fear a lot of things. My faith finds me strong and unburdened as I lift all my weight towards the One who can sustain me. Lifted and even the unspoken or unwritten, He knows. So this is my quiet petition of hope. That I might rest this fear and let it go. And I am. One day at a time. I am learning that art can be personal. Not fully revealed and obvious. I like that. I never liked explaining my work before, I'm kind of liking this in my journaling too :). So here is my first step. A new page in a new chapter and written in a new book. I will probably not share everything that goes in this but I do hope to encourage you to journal and express yourself onto your pages for you. Afterall, they are YOU. AND even if they don't end up looking anything like you had envisioned (like this page didn't quite come out like I had hoped) just turn the page and keep going. And you'll get there.
And this one...
I've been reflecting lately on my little hobby "photography". From buying my first SLR in college at the age of 21. Then teaching photography and darkroom techniques at a preppy high school after college. To now, the digital SLR and all the creative flow that it allows in both my work and art. I can't believe it. I used to be intimidated by the camera! I'm pleasantly surprised how far this has lead me and really wanted to have a page to remind myself. I have so much to learn but so far, this capturing moments has been insanely fun. I'm glad I never stopped.
And this is how I feel right now:
today was a great day to do something
something creative to make a mess
get paint on your hands sundress and sandals
music on full blast and yet nothing came
nothing remotely inspiring happened
so you sat and waited
and waited and instead
it’s just what you needed
good things are worth
resting and waiting for something.
something worth the wait