Friday, January 22, 2010

cloudy days

cloudy days

get me thinking.
this past year I've missed so much of myself.
I'm not sure why I've believed into a lie. and let it rule me. take away my joy. my passion. my heart.
a year is a lot to loose.

one little lie. an untruth founded on jealousy. ego. hurt.
I'm not sure why i came upon it's ugly path. that's altogether another story.

this year i resolve to take back truth. myself. my love. my passion. my confidence. my joy.
I will not give into fear. not coward again. and again and again.
I'm gonna fight.
gonna win this one for myself.
i'm worth that.
even if i end up loosing again.
and again
and again.

I believe if i stand for truth then i am on the winning side.
no matter what it looks like to anyone else.
no matter what i end up losing i've already lost it all before.

the lie hits SO close to my heart.
it tells me i'm not good enough.
not creative enough.
not unique enough.
just not enough,
yet it takes and takes and takes my love for creating, photography, design.
i feel hurt. mad. outraged.
but being scared is killing me. my passion and my heart.
so i refuse to let the lie become my truth.

this year, i'm living... creating, designing and loving every little bit of it for me.
because i can.
not matter what someone says.
i am good enough.

every single day I'm getting up and believing and praying this for myself.
do not. do NOT let what one person says, diminish what EVERYONE who really truly loves every little bit of you says.
Because they believe in you.
so now it's time to believe in you too.

Mr. handsome is always there to listen to me and believe in me. Reminding me to let go. Let the lie die. And he always finds a way to cheer me up with a little joke. So here is yesterdays: What do you call a bear with no teeth?



a gummi bear.
(kick* snare* crash*)




pakosta said...

you completely ROCK!
and you are soooooo creative, I wish I had about 1/16th of your creativity!

Paper Paradise said...

GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!! Chin up, move forward and enjoy life again. XXX

jenjock1 said...

i just wanted to tell you again that i think you are one of the most creative and innovative people i know, and you still inspire the heck out of me. :)

Jennifer Evans said...

Don't listen for one minute that you aren't good enough... cause even if it is just for you and your husband it is good enough. Although... I am inspired every time I look at your work. Sometimes people don't get my work... Sometimes I listen to the lie. But, God created us to be creative... unique... in His image. So how can we question what He made? Thanks for inspiring!

Unknown said...

You make me cry, friend. I needed to hear this- those lies can seem so bold and loud while the truth just remains- quietly, but steadfast. I've been meditating on Philippians 4:8&9 from The Message, and that last sentence just speaks wonders to me: 8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

I pray this for you, too, my friend.

Haberdawoman said...

It's funny how 1 person can have such power over us if we let them. Good for you for taking charge of your life and what you love.
At the end of the day I belive that our creativity, our art and anything that may bring us joy is for ourselves only and if someone else likes it then it's a bonus. And for what it's worth, you so inspire me.

Anonymous said...

i'm glad your back in full force!
love you girl. and yes. you. rock.

Anonymous said...

i'm glad your back in full force!
love you girl. and yes. you. rock.

Stephanie said...

Some people will never be happy until they make others sad. Ignore the lies, they let us lose our energy on things that don't matter.

I think you rock.

Melissa Mann said...


Curlywiggles said...

09 was not the year for me either, here's to moving forward in 2010!